The life of each one of us is but a succession of choices,
which collectively seal our fates. Life is like a long trip, and each choice we
make is like turning either left or right in a cross-road. Often times we
aren’t sure where we are going to end up, or even where we want to end up in
the end. And yet, it is impossible not to keep marching forward. We can’t just
stay in the same place since time never stops. The clock is always ticking,
pressuring us to act.
When he was
young, Leonardo had his whole life ahead of him. The world lay at his feet,
unexplored. His options were practically unlimited and he felt that he could
always go back and take a new different path, if he didn’t like the path he was
taking or if he simply changed his mind. Now, however, choices had begun to
seem more and more irreversible. Seeing his friend Ricardo about to get
married, Leo realized that a decisive moment in his friends lives and his own
life had finally come. The possibilities stacked in the future, which before
stood unlimited, were now being reduced as they slipped through the funnel of
time.
‘Ricky,
tell me something, aren’t you afraid that in a year from now you’ll realize
that this is not what you really want for your life and that then it will be
too late to change it?’ Leonardo asked his friend Ricardo.
He had
known that kid when he still didn’t even have any facial hair, and now there he
was in front of him, with his thick black beard and his wavy long dark hair
falling down his hairy back, about to get married. Leonardo still fondly
remembered the many weekends spent at Ricky’s house when they were still in
high school. He smiled, recalling how hard Ricky had tried to teach him how to
play the guitar so they could form a band together… unfortunately Leonardo was
never able to learn how to play more than a handful of songs. Music wasn’t his
thing…
‘Have you
ever heard of something called divorce buddy?’ answered Ricky in a humorous
fashion. He had always had a fine sense of humour, rivaling Alexandre for the
title of funniest of the gang when they were all still students at the Colegio de Chelas. Since then, eight
years had already passed.
Ricky’s
quirky answer made everyone laugh, Leonardo included. The trip to the last
village was having the desired effect. Although they knew that they would soon
have to return to Lisbon ,
they could still fully enjoy the calmness of the countryside. They had spent
the whole day walking and hiking, breathing the fresh air and appreciating the
beautiful landscape made of small mountains, green fields and the clear blue
sky. When nightfall was near, they returned to their house in the small
village, and they drank beer and ate the meat and the sausages that they cooked
in the grill in the house’s backyard. There is nothing more pleasant than a
nice and quiet backyard barbecue with friends.
‘Look
man…’continued Ricky ’when you lime someone like I like my girlfriend, I just
don’t think there’s much point on waiting any longer. I wouldn’t do this if I
wasn’t sure that she’s the right person for me. I’m not stupid.’
‘I
understand actually… and I know you like her a lot and that you’ve been
together for quite a while and I really, really hope that you are right and
that she’s really the right girl for you. What scares me though, is everything
that the institution of marriage symbolizes.’
‘What do
you mean exactly?’ Ricky asked.
‘Don’t you
think that getting married is like admitting, implicitly, that you accept the
rules that society has laid out for you? Like if you were officially becoming
part of the system? Don’t get me wrong Ricky, I don’t mean to criticize you.
After all, you’re the first of the bunch to get married but I’m sure that one
after the other we’ll end up doing the same thing… But do you remember when
Tyler Durden said that we spend our whole lives being controlled by our mothers
and the last thing we need is another woman to control us for the rest of our
lives? That’s what I mean, I think…
‘Leo,
that’s not real life, it’s just a movie…’
‘A movie
that we watched together at least ten times’ answered Leonardo, slightly
offended by his friend’s somewhat patronizing remark. Leo and Ricky, along with
Alex, had formed a unofficial Fight Club fan-club while they were at high
school. The activities of the pseudo fan-club included watching the movies as
well s lengthy discussions about it and even collective “space monkey style”
haircut sessions.
‘Leo,
growing up mean accepting that sometimes we just have to conform to the rules
that society sets up for us. I hear you but the truth is that accepting this
reality is inevitable. I think that the idea of being completely free is
nothing but a utopia and sooner or later we all have to accept the fact that
living in society means giving up some individual freedoms in exchange for a degree
of safety and stability. Even in Fight Club the main character ends up choosing
to kill Tyler
in order to save Marla and live a normal life…’
‘Yeah…maybe
you’re right Ricky…maybe you already reached that stage, the end of the movie,
and realized that Tyler Durden only existed inside your head after all. And
after you realized that, you decided to put a bullet through his skull. Game
Over. Where is My Mind? By The Pixies
playing in the backdrop while “Jack” and Marla watch the big towers fall in
front of them. A new beginning. The long awaited rest of the warrior. Maybe
even the beginning of a new family... you got the end of the movie already and
I’m still here, listening to Durden speak inside my head, talking the
revolution in my mind…’
‘Don’t worry
man, sooner or later the Tyler Durden in your head is gonna go away too. You
just need to find your Marla and maybe get a job and everything is gonna start
to make sense for you too…’ said Ricky, ex-revolutionary, now a worker and a
family man.
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