III - I've Always Wanted to be a Writer

Six empty glasses sit on top of the wooden table, in front of the two young men. At three pints each, they are both quite tipsy already. It is one o’clock in the afternoon ‘a bit too early to be tipsy already, about time to have something to eat’ thinks Leonardo.

            ‘I’m getting a bit hungry Jean’, he says.

            ‘Yeah, I agree. Let’s order something’. 

            Leonardo orders a pasta dish. Jean-Pierre decides to have a cheeseburger. Both order an extra beer.

While they enjoy the warm food and the cold beer they discuss their future, immediate and distant.

            ‘So what comes next? Do you know what you want to do already?’ Asks Jean-Pierre.

            ‘No, not exactly. I know I’m done with studying for now though. Probably forever actually.’

            ‘You don’t want to do a Masters?’

            ‘No, I don’t think so. I mean, it’s not that I don’t think it is a good option for many people, but I don’t think it makes sense in my case. I’m tired of studying. I’m almost 25 years old and I’ve spent almost all of those years studying. Now that I finally graduated, I wanna stop for a while and think really hard what I really want to do next with my life. You see, although throughout the years I have had a lot of different thoughts about what I wanted to do with my life I never really chose one of them as a definitive option. I’ve always dreaded making choices that would send me decisively in one specific path. In think now is finally the time to make some real decisions, to finally commit myself towards something.’

            ‘And what might that be?’

            ‘Well, that’s the thing. I’m not sure. I’m a bit scared because I’ve never had a job in my life and I don’t know how to find one. And it gets worse, I don’t even know what job I want to apply for exactly…’

            ‘Isn’t there anything you want to do?’

            ‘There is one thing… but it’s not really a job. I would like to become a writer.’

            ‘I suppose that’s a start. Have you decided that recently? You never told me you wanted to be a writer.’ Jean-Pierre said.

            ‘No… I guess I’ve always known that I wanted to be a writer. Maybe not do it as a full-time job, but ever since I can remember I always wanted to write a book someday. I’ve never been really sure about what I want to write about though. Above all, I just know that I want to write.’

            ‘Have you written before? Outside of University I mean?’

            ‘I’ve never written a whole book, but I’ve written some pieces of fiction. When I was a kid I used to write short stories for school. Usually I would get good grades, which fuelled my love for writing. They weren’t exactly good stories since they were but the writings of a child. As the years passed and I got older, I started writing slightly better stories, but nothing of note. My first attempt to write a book came when I was fifteen. I wrote three chapters of a sci-fi novel, but eventually I grew tired of it. Then when I was sixteen I formed a writers club with some of my best friends. We used to write short-stories and set meetings where we would read them out loud. That was my most prolific period as a writer so far.’

            ‘That sounds cool. Why do you want to be a writer, what makes you want to write?’

‘I don’t know… it’s just like… I almost NEED to write. It’s as if all these thoughts are stuck in my throat, waiting to be spoken (or in this case written).’

‘Then I think you should definitely write. After all the most important thing is to enjoy life while we still can, and if you think that writing is that meaningful to you than there is only one thing I can tell you my friend: Write!’

‘What about you, what are your plans for the future?’

‘I’m going to Africa this summer, and I have to write my dissertation. When I’m done, I’m not really sure. I would like to make things work with Marta, so who knows, I may be able to find a job in Spain and move there.’ (Marta was Jean-Pierre’s ex-girlfriend and one true love, she had moved back to Spain a year ago, which was when they had broken up.)

‘That’s nice man. What kind of job?’

‘I’m not sure yet. A good job, in a big company probably. We’ll see what comes up. I want to make a lot of money dude, to buy a nice car and a big house. And then I want to fill that big house with a bunch of brats.’

‘I see. Well, I guess that’s what we are all supposed to do right?’

‘I think so. At least that is what I want to do. And even if you want to write, you will still have to earn money somehow. So I think you will also have to find a job.’

‘That is very likely… I would like to work for the UN or the EU, but I know it will be hard. So I’ll probably have to take some boring job working for a company or something.’

‘Come on, it’s not that bad! You’ll earn your own money so you will be able to do everything you want, without answering to no one. You will finally be independent!’

‘Right… except that I will have to answer to my boss. And I will be a slave of a paycheck at the end of each month… I’ll be as free as a roaming bird huh?’

‘Sometimes you worry me… come, let’s go. Let’s go for a walk and then we have to buy alcohol. We’re going to a party this afternoon.’

‘A party? Whose party?’

‘These people I know. I promise you will not be disappointed. It’s a dinner and a party. We’re supposed to get there at five-thirty to help with the cooking and everything.’

‘That early?’

‘This is the first day of the rest of our lives. The whole day is a big party. Tonight we’re not going to sleep. Come on!’ Jean-Pierre said while getting up. ‘If we keep drinking like this, we will be too drunk to even find the place. Now that we have some free time we can finally enjoy walking around Campus and lay on the grass.  Besides, who knows how much longer it’s going to be sunny like this.’

Leonardo finishes what’s left of his beer in one long sip, following Jean-Pierre’s example, and the two young men walk towards the exit. After walking around campus a bit they finally lie down on the grass, surrounded by many other students, who look for the most part happy and relaxed, an impossible sight two weeks before. Leonardo closes his eyes feeling the warm touch of the sun on his skin, and the soft grass under his back and his neck, and he slowly falls asleep.  

Soundtrack:
La Mauvaise Réputation (George Brassens, 1952)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVy87tdvx8w